Simple Pleasures

Ask my girlfriend and she'll tell you that I'm an almost annoyingly laid back guy. People are rude to me, I don't react. I get cut off in traffic, I just make a bad face. Some dick in an SUV is a dick in a SUV, and I just shake my head. If she had it her way, I'd be U-lockin' and jaw-clockin' all day long. But I'm not. I get upset, sure, but not enough to honk or hit or take out a side-mirror.

But yesterday was tough. I haven't been sleeping real well since Sunday and got something like four hours, maybe, before I had to get my ass to work. Work was steady and I just wasn't into it. After work I was background-surly. I had woken up late due to lack of sleep and went back on my promise to public-trans every day this month. I was reminded of this as I biked the mile to the parking lot Kasey's car sat in, possibly with a pink parking ticket fluttering between windshield and wiper blade.

No ticket, but getting out of the parking lot was like trying to get down the isle of a Wal-Mart during a Black Friday moo-moo sale. I don't know how people survive each other. And speaking of, there was a bad wreck on Hampton before the bridge, and traffic was either filtering past the fire engines one lane at a time or taking the only available detour. I took the detour, after watching a FedEx van four-wheel it over the median to get into the turning lane. I got mildly lost a few times, and it seemed to take forever to get home. Finally in the Downtown Tunnel, I fought powerful surges of intense anger and hatred when the minivan in front of me kept hitting it's brakes for no reason discernible by man or god. I don't usually get disturbed to the point of physical reaction, but I found myself almost flipping out all over the steering wheel and yelling through the windshield. When that happens I know it's bad. But telling myself I was almost back in my beloved Olde Towne and soon I'd be home with food and a warm Kasey, I managed to maintain.

After feeling like a piece of old grey poop all day long, I suddenly found myself feeling better in the middle of dinner. And not just better as in, "Well, I guess I won't kill myself just yet…" but better as in, "Mmm, life is good. I feel like humpin'!" Eating is one of those things that has always had a profound effect on me, and I'm sure having my lovely lady make me grilled cheese and tomato soup was a big part of it. By the time I was finishing off the last of the cobbler and eating a huge bowl of ice cream life was back in balance and I was myself again.

Which got me to thinking: Am I that simple-minded? Am I like some crying child that can be bought off with a lollipop and something shiny waved in front of my face? Am I that easy to bribe? Yes. Yes I am. But is that so bad? It seems the older we get the more complex and fantastical a situation has to be to please us. This feels like a step in the wrong direction, to me. I've long had the philosophy that the more it takes for you to be happy, the less happy you'll be. Back in the day man, all it took was a piece of candy or a snow day or basket with a rope tied to it (true story, pleased three boys of varying ages for days) and you were livin'. Now, it seems like it takes a complex set of events that rival a shuttle launch to get that same kind of pleasure, and even then it's short lived.

I don't know how this happens. I think somewhere in the middle we get caught up in constructing more and more elaborate structures in all areas of life, or maybe we become desensitized through neglect to the simple and easy things. I am a pretty childish person, which is probably why sweets and other childish things amuse me so. And it seems that as a person grows old, they take more joy in simple pleasures again, possibly learning that the big stuff is a pain or maybe just because they're too tired for it anymore, or both. I dunno, I haven't been old yet.

Whatever the reason, I need to make a conscious effort to take joy in whatever comes my way. Else I'll find myself standing over the remains of some poor guy's rear windshield asking him if he sees what happens when he doesn't use his turning signal, or having a stroke at the ripe old age of twenty-seven.

Take care, you princesses of Maine, you kings of New England.

- David

Any pictures you see in this blog that don't suck are not taken by me, and I am not taking credit for them. I always link the image to the photographer's web page.

Don't State, Insinuate

Are y'all familiar with the world's shortest horror story?
"The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door..."

Uh huh, I see you shakin' in ya booties.  I thought about that story on the way to the bathroom just now, and when someone walked in as I was walking out it scared the crap out of me.  Why?  Cuz of all that story leaves unsaid.  The mind runs wild with posibilities when the gate is left open.  Why is he the last man?  Was there an apocalypse?  If so, what kind?  Animal, vegetable, zombical, other?  And who the hell is at the door!  Vague things are scarier than defined things, any day.  I'd even venture to say that vague anything is better than defined anything, any day.  Magic tricks, movie endings, sexual promises, all better when you don't try to cram it into a little box.

There's a quote somewhere that I've remembered for years about how human language is made up of eight basic sounds or something, but I can't find it.  (Literally an hour later) Oh wait, here it is: "Language consists of five basic sounds produced by the vocal cords. They are the vowels a, e, i, o, u. The other sounds are consonants produced by air pressure: s, f, g, and so forth."  So it was more than eight, but less than fourty-four.  Anyway, people's thoughts are defined by their language; what makes us think that which we think could ever encompass what is really there, based on such a limited number of simple sounds?  That's why the undefined is scarier/more beautiful/more honest than the defined.  How much more is said with a caress than with words?  I didn't really have a point with all that, I'm just sayin'.  It's slow today, sue me.

The weather has been beautiful lately.  Too bad I've been a lazy turd and have ridden exactly .03 miles per month.  It's really more than that, but it doesn't feel like it.  I need to get out on Saturdays again, even if it's by myself.  I've made a goal internally to not drive to work a single day in October, come Hell or high water, which is still better maneuvered on a bike.  Speaking of, we had craaaazy rain storms on Thursday.  A bunch of the roads I would have taken home were closed due to flooding and once or twice the highest speed setting of the wipers couldn't keep my vision cleared.  It was fun, I love bad weather.

Animals are good, Kasey is good, friends are good, Walden is good, Story of O was good (but ended badly), Lady Vengeance is good, Virginia is good, I'm good.  Just need to relax; I made fun of a fat guy yesterday without even realizing it.  Time to take more naps.

 - David

Steel & Momentum

By this time a couple of years ago, my dad was hearing the worst news of his entire life.

A lot of people feel real tragedy can't touch them. They haven't felt it and so don't really believe it's something that can happen. Death is something that happens on TV, to pets, and to old relatives. But people are fragile. Our soft bodies are easily damaged and our intricate systems can fail with a whisper.

Be careful out on those roads. If you're sleepy, stay off the road. If you've had a few, don't drive. Get off the cell phone, put the food down, your coffee can wait. You're piloting an enormous amount of deadly steel and momentum. It deserves your full attention.

I wore my mala beads today. Today I'll watch The Fountain, and probably some Wes Anderson. If I had the money I'd get another ring around my wrist. I'll drink. I'll remind myself that nothing is born and that nothing really dies. I'll tell myself that he's still around, just in different forms. I'll try to pretend like I've really accepted death as a part of life. Last night we watched The Darjeeling Limited and as the actors played across the screen I wished I had two brothers still. I liked being one of three boys.

Hug someone today. And to make it not cheesy, when they're not looking, covertly hump them a little.

- David

Salsa

To my handsome, sexy, benevolent, virile, and intelligent loyal readers this post will probably feel more like my normal writing then the recent stuff I've put out. Why? Because once again it is spurred by boredom at work.

It's Sunday and I'm seven hours into a ten hour shift. Today marks the start of my pemenant schedule of Sundays through Wednesdays, 7:00 AM to 5:30 PM. (As an aside, for someone who takes pride in being a grammar and spelling Nazi I have no idea how times should be correctly written out and am too lazy to check. Everytime I write out a time I think of that.) In seven hours I have taken three calls and my Average Talk Time is six minutes, fourty-two seconds. It's fantastic. I have all this time to read away from televisions, chores, dogs, and girlfriends who need some attention from Y.T.

The downside is I'm a bit sleepy. My new book The Tao is Silent has kept me awake and entertained thusfar, but getting up around 5:30 catches up with a person. I'm over one hundred and seventy-two pages in and just now read the back cover to find that the author is a mathematical logician! I don't even know what that is but I would never have guessed someone with "mathematical" and "logician" in their title would be able to write with such humor and spontenaity. Which is how I like my learnin', especially about philosophies of which I currently subscribe.

Walking around today trying to find cream and sugar for my office coffee I spotted a strategically placed co-worker napping. Strategically placed both in location and position as he was away from the bulk of traffic and slumped just out of sight behind his quarter-cubicle partition. Attempting in my own subtle way to practice Taoism in my daily life I decided to take a nap too. The Head Resting on Hand technique did nothing for me as my apparently unbalanced head kept falling off my arm everytime I passed a certain point of unconciousness. I opted instead for the Laid Back school, resting my head on the back of the chair.

Success! After waking up a few times to find my mouth hanging open and stifling the rising fear of drooling I even managed to have a little dream in which someone was debating me about marshmellows. I awoke fifteen minutes later or so, refreshed and energized, just in time for two tech leads to walk by looking for magnetic letters to stick up on a whiteboard. To you this may seem deplorable, unprofessional, and irresponsible but to me it makes perfect, natural, sense: I'm sleepy, the beeping phone would wake me up if there was a call, and if you could get away with it at work you'd do it too. Plus, all last week was a shit storm of varying degrees so I'm owed a slow day. Or at least I'm prepared to take full advantage of one.

Kasey's car is busted, still. Turns out it was the alternator or something. Her dad is currently in possession of the White Talon, a tow truck having picked it up yesterday afternoon in literally ten seconds. I have never seen anything so efficient involving one vehicle, let alone two. I hope that guy get some kind of recognition for being able to back that truck up, lowering the crucifix-like tow arm in the process, hooking the front tires, and lifting it up all with perfect precision. A bowling trophe with an abandoned car on top instead, perhaps.

One of the fun things that happens to me a lot in life is that things work out nicely all by themselves. For instance buses don't run Sundays but one of the guys I went through training with is on nearly my exact schedule, so I car-pooled in today. I'm now working Sundays and out of the blue Kasey gets offered to switch schedules for one that would includes Sundays for her, too. This type of thing happens so frequently, it seems Kasey is even to the point where it's no longer remarkable.

Okay, I'm off to locate some sugar for my instant grits while I take the last break of the day. Or maybe I'll try some more of this napping thing in the Quiet Room, which is really just a restroom with a lockable door and a plastic chair.

Happy Sunday.

- David

Exhile

Woo! This is my 500^th blog post!

Sorry I ain't been around more. Four weeks of finding a job and then two weeks before my first paycheck has taken it's disabling toll and now I have no phone and no Internet. Although for the time being I can still receive calls. Six days 'till payday! Hopefully that means six days until the restoration of my communication services. I'm lightly considering pilgrimages to the local coffee shoppe to partake of their Internet only.

Things have been okay. I'm trying to be a better Buddhist. What does that mean to a whitey in the big city? Reading my old teacher, mindfulness when I remember (ha!), and meditation on the bus. Apparently I'm full of bitter anger and despair. Who knew? Beneath this Peeps-ish exterior lies something not as sweet or fluffy. I'm working on it, it's a road not a destination, it's all in the process, etc, etc, ad naseum.

I finished The Road. It was awesome. Did I cry? Yes. Was it worth it? Fo sho. I highly recommend it.

Be safe, the weather seems weird all over.

- David

Not About Bicycles

I feel sick. Nauseousness, just on the outside of my perception. Like I've been breathing some kind of heavy gas and it's stuck, swirling slowly, in my chest.

It could be that I haven't been taking my vitamins lately, or that I'm probably protein deficient. After a few weeks my vegetarian system starts to notice that kind of thing.

Or it could be the result of trying to stay so chipper when things are total crap. Buddhists and laid back people have a lot of pressure to continue being Buddhist and laid back, even when our lives are falling apart. A lot of that pressure is internal. It can be a huge bitch. We can be the rock and the refuge for our loved ones, but when shit goes down on our end of town, it seems like we just have to deal. And if there's conflict, guess who feels compelled to make it right, to calm down, to fix it. To forgive and forget. That's right. But maybe it's just me.

Shit is going down on my end of town.

What good is being introspective if you're the only one? What good is it to be mindful of the reasons behind things when no one else is concerned? Why be one of those "nice guys" when being insensitive seems so much easier? I don't think I'm cut out for this.

But a ship that goes out to sea either keeps sailing, or it sinks. So, whatever. This will all be discounted as dramatization anyway. Even though to me, it definitely isn't. But that won't matter. After a time I'll go on my merry way, no assistance or effort required, as always. So why bother with any of this.

Woo, happy Friday.

- David

What Are You Holding Out For?

If I can be allowed to steal from a friend...

In Stereo

It's all just a bunch of vibrations. It's all not that important. Don't take it too seriously. Everything is gonna be alright.

- David

Farewell, My Lovely

Oldboy is a great god damn movie (thanks be to Aero!). A very strange movie, yes. But still, a great god damn movie. It has action! It has drama! It has comedy! It has the longest uncut fight scene in movie history! Saying anything about the story gives it away, so I won't. Be even if I did, the last parts of the movie are crazy and unexpected. All the acting is amazing and the story is intense. One of my favorite movies of all time. And the soundtrack? Beautiful.

Today I got lucky and found two awesome books. It was kinda funny, after going to have lunch/dinner at 3:30pm (slept in till 2:00pm, hey, I was working late!) at the 5 and Diner and then hanging out at Staples for a bit, we just decided to drive around and ended up at the mall. Being pretty broke until Wednesday we headed for the only bookstore in the place. Not even one I'd ever heard of.

So I go to their Religious section and 4.5 of the 5 shelves are Christian stuff which is understandable but still kind of frustrating. But on the last shelf near the bottom is a small section of Buddhism and an even smaller section of Taoism.

I managed to find a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk I've only just found through podcasts. Just from a few talks I've listened to I really like him. His teachings are very profound and simple and I love the way he talks. It's very calming and compassionate. The book I found was "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching". The fact that Thich Nhat Hanh wrote it and it's about the core of Buddha's teaching was a one-two knock out for me and I didn't even read the back before buying it. I still haven't, haha.

The other book is the "Tao Te Ching" translated by Gia-Fu Feng and Jane English. I've been reading some translations online but it's slower going that way for me because of more distractions and after all, it is the Internet. Who knows how valid the translations and interpretations I'm reading are? Just cuz it's on the Interweb don't make it true! I'm really excited to learn more about this philosophy and this book was just what I was looking for.

I also got a nice journal cheap to help me keep notes. I put my "I Am Ten Ninjas" sticker on it, so it looks all mysterious!

While I was in Staples I noticed that HP has put out customizable printable covers for the iPod. After payday I'm gonna pick up a pack and see if they work with our Canon printer. Usually HP paper comes out looking like ass but hopefully this works out. I've been trying to decide what cover to get for my scratched up iPod. Ones I can make myself are the perfect idea!

Lately I've been thinking that a lot of Buddhist schools are too complex. The Buddha's teachings are very simple and direct and I feel that over the years too much unnecessary stuff has been laid on top. For some this isn't a problem, but I feel that I need something simple and pure. I picked Tibetan Buddhism to follow because it seemed to be the closest to the original teachings, but I've been wondering if there is anything closer out there. After over a year with Tibetan Buddhism I'm thinking about following a different school, if I can find a better one out there. More updates to come as this goes along, and any suggestions and advice is most welcome.

Have a great day, filled with peace and success!

- BuddhaDave

Simple minds, simple pleasures.

I Challenge You to a Xiaolin Showdown!

What is up, my Internet peoples. Not too much here. At work for another two hours, making sure the new guys doesn't majorly fux anything up. So basically instead of monitoring our systems, I'm monitoring the monitor...er. It's even easier and quieter than plain old monitoring!

So one thing that always bothered me about organized religion was it's followers. Like that saying, "Dear God, protect me from your followers!" They wouldn't practice what they preached, or they would appear to but in fact they were petty and false like all the other people out there. They would advise one thing, then do quite another. Very off-putting.

I guess when I became Buddhist I unconsciously assumed every other Buddhist would be the living embodiment of the philosophy. I don't really know a lot of other Buddhists personally and don't really make it a point to seek them out. I mostly enjoy just practicing myself and making my own way, so this unconscious assumption was never challenged.

Then I started hanging out on Buddhist forums. My oh my was I wrong. Don't get me wrong, there are some wonderful Buddhists out there. Helpful, humorous, understanding, laid back, and fun. But there are some not so good ones.

For a way of life that teaches detachment some of these people are reeeeaaaaaalllly attached to their particular school of Buddhism, or just Buddhism in general. It's ironic and sad. My favorite is the type that quotes from the texts like a Christian priest would from the Bible: as the only proof you should need to be convinced. This is also ironic as the Buddha himself famously taught not to accept any teachings for any reason other than personal verification.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. After all, people are people and it is the Internet. "Confused" (read: dumb) people are to the Internet as sand is to a desert.

I guess it's because I see Buddhism as very simple and laid back. Some people seem to think it should be complex, rigid, and all "official". That was one thing I loved when I first started studying; there wasn't really an "official" way to become Buddhist. If you wanted you to have a ceremony done by a monk or nun, but it wasn't necessary. All you had to do was follow the teachings and you could consider yourself a Buddhist. You don't even have to follow them strictly or completely. But some Buddhists out there don't regard others as "real" Buddhists unless they took refuge under an ordained Buddhist and went through some kind of ceremony or other. Pretty silly if you ask me.

Buddhism isn't about rituals or titles or how many Sanskrit words you know or how many sutras you've memorized. It isn't about proving to others that you know more than them. It's isn't about all the complexity that has been heaped upon the various schools over the years. It isn't about jumping through hoops.

It's about taking a long, hard, honest look at your life and seeing that it is full of suffering. About realizing that you are the cause of your problems because you don't know how things really are and then finding a way to stop hurting yourself and others. That's it. Everything else is pretty much just reiterations of this simple teaching and even though they are intended to help, people get caught up these secondary (and tertiary, quaternary, etc) teachings and see them as ladders to be climbed and levels to be reached. This is wrong.

I think a lot of people need to get back to basics with their spiritual lives. Gain wisdom. Be still. Be mindful. Be compassionate. Be honest. Be at peace. If any of your thoughts or actions don't result in or move you towards even one of these, then of what use can it be but to cause you suffering?

What other teaching is necessary?

- BuddhaDave

Keep It Simple, Sanga!

P.S. That's not my cute image, I found it!

I Am the Mighty Monkey Slapper!

We went over to my very good friend Doug's house last night for some food and fun. We had some awesome chicken, steak, potatoes, salad, and dessert. I ate a whole bunch. Just doing my part to make sure there weren't a lot of left overs to be brought home. ;)

We played some board games and I humbly report that I won both Scattergories and Trivial Pursuit! Of course I did have to sell a couple stretches in Scattergories but all in all I think it was a fair win. I hardly ever win any board games when we play over there so I was happy. I think the secret was the combo of comfy chair and presicely mixed concoction of Sprite and Jamacan Rum. I will have to do more research to be sure, of course.

I have five more business days until I go back on my regular, comfy, unlonley 9 to 5 shift! Yay! Working nights has a particular appeal but after a while it gets old. I like being there during the day when I actually have some one to talk to and if I need to call someone it's not waking them up. Waiting for shit to break in the middle of the night is fun and all, but I like the administrative side a little bit more.

I'm cranky today. Damn Canadian teenagers.

It gets hard for me to try and help people out when they get mad at me for it. Especially repeat offenders. I know I'm not the smartest or wisest or best anything out there, but I have learned things that are useful. And who knows, I may be right about one or two things. Why not just try and see if what I say is helpful instead of relying on snap judgments? The only time I give advice is when I care and feel that I can help. I don't just tell people stuff to do because I always assume I'm right and they're wrong. I'm not a bossy person. It's just hard on me to try so hard to help and then be blocked by a simple "meh".

I think I'll go swimming now, clear my head out. Have a great Sunday!

- BuddhaDave

"Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without."

A Zen Entry

- BuddhaDave

Nature's way is to say but little;
high winds are made still
with the turn of the tide,
and rarely last all morning,
nor heavy rain, all day.
Therefore, when talking,
remember also
to be silent and still

Half the Calories of the Ten Commandments, None of the Guilt!

I drew this little dealy up one Lonely Third Shift 12 Hours of No Human Contact night. It's my simplified representation of the five vows a Buddhist takes (a lay Buddhist, monks/nuns have seven) when they decide to be a Buddhist.

No one will punish you if you do these things, but you won't feel good and your karma will get you! Your punisher is yourself!

All done in ink on printer paper. Copy write!!

- BuddhaDave

The cheese is old and moldy. Where is the bathroom?

We've Got the Power...Oh Wait, Nevermind

Today I was enlightened as to how important electricity is. You really take it for granted until something like, oh, I don't know, your power gets switched off in one of the hottest months in Phoenix and can't be reconnected it for twenty-four hours.

It's my own damn fault. I'm a lazy bastage. But in my defense...I'm a lazy bastage. So now because of this whole situation I'm going to be broke for two weeks and wah wah wah. On the plus side I kinda like being broke. It makes me feel like my life is more simple. So does shaving my hair off but some people don't like either of those things so I don't do 'em. Damn womens! *shakes tiny fist in anger*

So laying in bed the other night I got this great idea. Normally the great ideas that come to me in that particular place at that particular time revolve around Getting Some, but tonight was different. I had just seen on the news how in only eight days this month twenty-four people had died heat related deaths. Mostly homeless people.

So I thought to myself, why couldn't I buy a bunch of bulk water bottles from like Sam's or Costco and drive around Phoenix after work and for a few hours on the weekend and hand out water bottles to the homeless? And hey, while I was at it I could print off little cards with the addresses of all the homeless shelters in the area and give those out with the water! It wouldn't be much, but it'd be something I could do that might help out.

Then my idea snowballed from there to getting a website with tips and info if other people wanted to do the same type of thing and a bumper sticker with the address on it and the humble but helpful speech I'd give during my news interview.

Then I realized, crap, I'm being vain! Again! It had turned into me being famous instead of my original intention of trying to help homeless people. All in the span of like ten minutes. Kinda sad. It took awhile to get those thoughts to run their course, but after I bit I just realized all I needed to focus on was the necessary things, the helping part, and everything else was unnecessary and would work itself out naturally. Then I felt a lot better and all those fantasies about people seeing me and going, "That's the wonderful boy who helps homeless people! Isn't he dreamy?" began to fade away and I felt better.

I encourage other people to do the same. You don't have to save the world but it's really easy to help. There's tons of problems out there. Just pick one, see what you can do, and do it. You'll feel really good. More updates to come as I actually begin to take action. Wish me luck!

In other news, Cuban cigars are good, and I likes to smoke 'em. The Night Before the Power Died I sat at my compy and had a Pinar 3000 and chilled live a villain...-ed. It was nice, and I was happy, as you can see above. Although I did get a bit light headed when I was done and needed to drink some watah. I'm not a lightweight! That tobacco is like sixty-four years old and pretty full. So there.

I'm outy. Have a good night/day.

- BuddhaDave

Zen Thought of the Day!
Everything that exists and happens is a necessary, perfect part of reality and should be accepted as such.


P.S. What is up with "country pride"? Or "state/county pride" for that matter? "My section of land separated by imaginary lines is better than your section of land separated by imaginary lines!" Ooookay.

Mic Check, One Two, One Two Three

Let's see if this works!

Just switched to Google's Blogger so lets see how it works. It came highly recommended and so far looks good.

Have I mentioned how much I love my iPod? I didn't even like Apple before (One mouse button? Ewww) but iTunes and the iPod are just awesome. Even if I didn't have an iPod I'd still use iTunes, it's just such a nice management tool. If you're on the decision see-saw about whether to get one or not, I hightly recommend doing so.

Think about it man! Every song you own on one little device! All your adio books, albums, everything in the palm of your hand. After a week you won't know how you lived without it.

I've been listening to Nine Inch Nails' new album "With Teeth" a bunch lately. At first I didn't like it and set it aside for like a month. But then I went back after the "Only" music video came out. (P.S. this song rocks) What I took at first to be a butt-rock album (Sorry Trent!) is actually really good. Some of my favorite songs are "Right Where it Belongs", "Only", "All the Love in the World", and "Sunspots". It's like $10 on iTunes, go get it!

I just finished reading this cute little book called "The Tao of Pooh". I didn't know much about Taoism before reading this but I'd heard good things about it and I like books with this type of format. I'm still reading "The Dharma of Star Wars" and it's honestly the best book on Buddhism I've ever read. The best thing, actually. And I've read a bunch. It's so much easier to understand abstract philosophy when it's based on things like Star Wars and Whinnie the Pooh.

Taoism (pronounced DAOism) is pretty simple. Now I may not have this exactly right, but the gist of it is as follows: Everything is governed by the laws of nature, i.e. cause and effect. The same laws that govern trees growing and snow falling and the formation of planets also governs us. The harder one works against these laws the farther away one moves from harmony and the unhappier one gets. Sooo...the more free-flowing one is and the more one can just let things be the happier one will be. I have to read a lot more to be sure, but I think that's it. So that's new and cool for me.

Imma post this because I still don't know if everything is working correctly, so I'll add more later if necessary.

Adios!

- BuddhaDave