*Shrug*

After getting picked up after the Halloween race, stumbling and sauced, my night was about over. But my buddy Kurtz's night was just beginning apparently.


I don't know no details, but apparently my silent but deadly amigo spent the night in a real locked box, no imagination necessary. He is the Tyler Durden to my Edward Norton. I'm sure potential employers are happy about it, but right now I'm wishing my criminal record was a little less white cotton panties and a little more crotchless leather.

It rained balls today. I got misted on during my mile and a half ride to work, but it was real purdy and refreshing. Then it poured and poured and poured, and as I changed into my rain clothes I knew I wasn't taking the bus today. I'm a fowl weather rider; the shittier the weather, the more I want to cycle in it. Unless it's something like 23 mph right in my face. And even then I'd consider it. As it was, the wind felt like 23 mph right against my back. I rode the entire 8.5 miles home, rain, wind, and people nosing their fat asses out of parking lots and all. It was awesome. I love the rain. My junk is drying as it hangs on my drying bike right now.

I'm sneaking in about four hours of overtime this week. See me stroke my mustache maniacally. I need the money.

Obama is President. I'm happy, I just wish I could have been in a bar or someplace public when it was announced. I heard that shit was loud. In related news, I don't have to move to Canada yet. Thanks, America.

I've been eating a lot, but not biking a lot. That needs to change.

Family life is good. I love my cat, and she loves me. I love my dog, she's so smart and pretty. I love Bunny, the old hermit of our clan. I love Kasey, she gets lovelier every day. And the guy in the mirror is passable, dome days.

Nighty.

- David

Any pictures you see in this blog that don't suck are not taken by me, and I am not taking credit for them. I always link the image to the photographer's web page.

Don't Come A Knockin'

If my dollar-store knee-high tights are rockin'.


This outfit worked surprisingly well for Halloween's Critical Mass and the race. Plus, I knew how fast I was going by how high my thin skirt was riding up. I'm sure the bright whites of my upper thighs kept me night safe as well; I swear they were almost reflective.

At the after-party I attended one participant (a lovely girl covered in red makeup with devil horns and big red wings) commented that for the entire night she thought I was actually a lady, and was all heartbroken for "that poor girl" when she saw my flat tire trouble. These hips have fooled more than one person, let me tell ya. And I bet my shaved legs helped a little. I gotta say ladies, I just shaved up to right above the knee and it took forever. Luckily I had an audio book going.

A lot of people actually dressed up and I was glad. My favorite costumers were Kurtz's French mime (awesome job on the face paint), Wonderwoman, this guy who showed up as a green dinosaur, and Team Zissou, complete with pregnant reporter.

The race winner went home with a severed leg poking out of his backpack, and I'm certain everyone went home with a smile on their face.

- David

Say No to DNF *EDIT*

This is going to a brief overview of last night's shenanigans. Once I get pictures off cameras, routes off GPS devices, and laziness out of my bones there will be a full multi-media account of Halloween goings on.

First off, it was a blast. Kurtz put together an awesome race and we had a good turnout. Checkpoints included finding a needle in an apple, getting a kiss-mark from a stranger, entering a few drinking establishments, receiving a baggie of real human hair, and arts & crafts. There was even a bonus item which cannot be detailed here, although it is definitely Halloweeny, certainly not destructive, and probably a misdemeanor.

Twenty minutes into the race I got a flat, and after getting cussed out by the man himself and having his repair kit tossed in my direction, I found I could not get my rear wheel off no matter how hard I tried. Usually crescent wrenches work fine, but I was just stripping one of my nuts (ha!) and decided to give it up. But then I figured, "You know what? Fuck it." I locked my bike up and jogged the rest of the checkpoints, passing fellow racers here and there and even beating a few of them to the finish. I re-discovered something very special that night: Running sucks so damn hard.


Fer some reason you can't embed custom maps, so click the pic too see it in Google Maps if yer interested. The red path is what I did on foot, and the red icon is where my tire went flat.

I returned to Kurtz's home/the finish line and was greeted by many a costumed racer already imbibing. I drank a quick one, traded shoes, and rode a strange bike to ghost ride my disabled beastie back. With proper tools I sat cross-legged in a short skirt on a kitchen floor and fixed the flat. More drinking was followed by a bit more drinking, and then some more. The final four patrons were standing/sitting/wobbling around preparing to head out into the night when Kasey showed up and enabled us (in more ways than one) to sit and chat longer.

Thus, thoroughly intoxicated and fulfilled, Y.T. was driven home by his lovely lady where he then sat on the couch and watched Gilmore Girls and had a veggie burger with mustard and cheese, and then went to bed. A fun, fun night for sure.

Now I just need to get this stiffness out of my legs.

- David

Halloween Help

I know, I know, I'm hella late.

I'm lookin' for Llewelyn Moss... costume stuff. If anyone in the P-Towne/Norfolk/VA Beach/Whatever area knows where I can get the following, I'd be grateful and owe some kind of favor:

Cheap cowboy boots - They need to be cheap because I'd cut them up to go around my bike shoes. Preferably brown.
Straw cowboy hat - I think it's straw, watch the movie and tell me.
Black square satchel - Any size, briefcase may also work.
Brown cowboy shirt - CHKD, anyone?
Moustache - I have a passable one growing now.


Otherwise it's Last Minute Home Items Costume for me.

- David

Stickin' It to The Man

With swear words, rebel skullz, facial hair, and stroke-faces:



I got some long-wanted stickers from Kenny & Emily when we visited them in NC this weekend, and as soon as I got home I stuck on my lil' Jenny to make her more bad ass. It's common knowledge that in yer face stickers add speed and handling to a bike like racing stripes do to a sports car. If I could get two more awesome longer black stickers for my forks I'd be set. Maybe something about NAMBLA...

I had a dream the other night of hanging out in a cyclist bar, where you could bring your bike inside and all the tables were high so you could sit on your seat and drink at the same time. My buddy Kurtz was there and we were doing shots and drinking beers and having spontaneous track stand competitions with modifiers like crossed arms or keeping the liquor on our tongues. It would work I tell ya, until the head injury lawsuits came in.

Now that the weather seams to have turned cold I may try riding a few more miles into work, see how that works out, even though Hampton Blvd is horrendous. The first time I almost get ran over from behind though, it's over. That's one atrocity I have not yet had to endure.

OT is back. Woo. Although I will need the money, but still. *Sigh*

I'm eating free "expired" pastries and laughing it up inside a closed Starbucks. Good times, good time.

Take care, y'all.

- David

Good Times, Good Times

My buddy Jeff's last ride with the P-Town crew before he moves to Montana.

It's got to be a besotted Jesus to keep me satisfied. Nothing bad happened to it, promise.

I'm a bit hungover. Last night we hit up the Bier Garden with Jeff and crew as a send off, even though he doesn't leave until this upcoming Saturday. I drank liberally and had a lot of fun. I'm paying today, but not enough that I regret it. Even though Kasey doesn't agree, I do feel there is a certain type of enjoyable hangover. Like being sore after a good workout.

I need to find me some chocolate. Peace.

- David

Fer Real

Time to spend your money getting liquid out of a different kind of nozzle.

Maybe it's my advancing years, but I'm able to enjoy beer more lately. I'm more a girly-drink drunk myself. But after a hard bike ride (which is usually when I'm invited to imbibe) a beer goes down easy. Perhaps just as hunger is the best spice, dehydration is the best flavor.

Werky time, catch you later.

- David

Have fun, but be safe with it. Just kidding, fuck shit up!

I Am the Mighty Monkey Slapper!

We went over to my very good friend Doug's house last night for some food and fun. We had some awesome chicken, steak, potatoes, salad, and dessert. I ate a whole bunch. Just doing my part to make sure there weren't a lot of left overs to be brought home. ;)

We played some board games and I humbly report that I won both Scattergories and Trivial Pursuit! Of course I did have to sell a couple stretches in Scattergories but all in all I think it was a fair win. I hardly ever win any board games when we play over there so I was happy. I think the secret was the combo of comfy chair and presicely mixed concoction of Sprite and Jamacan Rum. I will have to do more research to be sure, of course.

I have five more business days until I go back on my regular, comfy, unlonley 9 to 5 shift! Yay! Working nights has a particular appeal but after a while it gets old. I like being there during the day when I actually have some one to talk to and if I need to call someone it's not waking them up. Waiting for shit to break in the middle of the night is fun and all, but I like the administrative side a little bit more.

I'm cranky today. Damn Canadian teenagers.

It gets hard for me to try and help people out when they get mad at me for it. Especially repeat offenders. I know I'm not the smartest or wisest or best anything out there, but I have learned things that are useful. And who knows, I may be right about one or two things. Why not just try and see if what I say is helpful instead of relying on snap judgments? The only time I give advice is when I care and feel that I can help. I don't just tell people stuff to do because I always assume I'm right and they're wrong. I'm not a bossy person. It's just hard on me to try so hard to help and then be blocked by a simple "meh".

I think I'll go swimming now, clear my head out. Have a great Sunday!

- BuddhaDave

"Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without."