Cam Experiment #1 - CrotchCam

Mi familia bonita got me a fun little action camera for Christmas that I can strap to my helmet, my body, or anything else with a bit of ingenuity. It's waterproof to three meters and seems pretty rugged.

Last night I probably spent half an hour or more trying to mount the camera to the awesomest spot on my bike possible, which I feel would show both rider and landscape. The top tube was the obvious choice, but the tube is too fat for the bracket that comes with the camera. So I velcro-strapped it to my seat.

The effect is one I'm calling CrotchCam, because that bugger is right near there. It worked pretty well, except when I was up off my seat. Then the camera was pointed directly at my ass. I've tried to cut all ass-footage out for the benefit of the viewer.

Behold:

I'll play around more with different mounting options to find something better, but this isn't half bad. A cold morning in late December, with all my new winter gear on (works fanTASTically) and bright-pink hands on pretty white handlebars.

Back at work today, hope you guys don't share my fate.

Adios.

- David

It's (No Longer) Christmas Times

But here's some pictures anyways.

Decorating the tree! I helped a little, but mostly it was Teh Kasey.

Rocking the whole vest/tie/driving cap/glasses look at the company Christmas party.

All the stuff I got! I love it all, I'm so appreciative.

Laundry time, have a good one.

- David

I Cheated

And I'm not sorry. This vest is amazing.

- David

My First Espesso

Mm mm. Bitter and black, just like my sooouuul. Honestly though, it was good. I can see why hardcore addicts love it. And the cups are so adorable!

Christmas is two days away and I veer between looking forward to it and wishing it was over already. The same goes for my birthday.

If you can get to Portsmouth on the Thirtieth I'll treat you to some beer and fries from the bier garden, no joke.

Have a safe holiday if we don't speak again.

- David

Boyscout Buchta

Today I earned my "Below Freezing Commute" and "Menachem Beguin Disguise Kit” badges. Ninja!

I also learned that when you're really pushing those pedals you can easily sweat in 31 degree weather, even after you've removed all but gloves and shirt.

And yes, I wore a helmet.

After my brush with death (AKA poisoning myself silly) I felt nearly right by lunch time. Luckily UPS has just finished courting my company and they took the secretary and myself out to the Olive Garden. I inhaled copious amount of pseudo-Italian food before the other two had even gotten halfway done. With a yummy cafe mocha to boot. Then, before going to bed, I made a vow that I would get up with the sun and watch it rise with my puggies. Apparently I had a new respect for life.

While I did not get up early (or even on time) I did bike into work today. Low temperatures don't scare me. As long as there isn't any evil wind I'll bike in anything. I overdressed, as usual, and was peeling off layers as I unicycled down suburban streets. The human body is an amazing machine, capable of burning up all of the junk we feed it and giving back heat and power.

Speaking of, it's lunch time. I'm off to shovel vegetarian Indian food into the furnace and hope not to get burned.

Be cool, lads & ladies. Be cool.

- David

I'm A Legal Citizen of Denmark Today

Due to all the Danish beer in my blood alcohol system. Good lord, I am hungover.

Kids, let Uncle Davey pass down some learnin' that everyone knows but some decide not to heed on occasion: Don't drink a bunch when all you've eaten is a scone and a cup of coffee the entire day. No matter how good it is or easily you find you can drink it.

The Alcohol Pendulum swings it's wide arc between fun and vomit rather quickly. Luckily we were already home.

I did have fun though. After a bit of Christmas shopping and errand running we headed to the local Beir Garden and met up with some of my Saturday Morning Cycling Buddies. The Gal & I had said at least a hundred times that we should go in, but something always stopped us. I'm impressed, we shouldn't have waited so long. Good fries, good veggie burger. Awesome beer. I think everyone was pretty happy.

Okay, I need to go nurse this thing. I've always loved that term: "Nurse a hangover." Likes it's a little baby. Lots of slow movement, water, and Mogwai today.

Take 'er easy, gents.

- David

Ride that White Elephant!

Pass

It'll be a new year and I'll be twenty-five when this thing expires. Time, she is the sneakiest one of them all.

- David

Help Me Complain!

Last night a transit bus did something dangerous to me, and I've complained to the transit authority. Click the link above for the full story and links to contact them.

Even though you're probably in a another state I'd love if you sent a quick note, asking them to be more careful around us lowly, sweaty, adorable bicyclists out there doing our part to save cash, the environment, and everything. If we complain enough we may save someone from getting ran over.

Peace, brothers and sisters of the Interweb. Hallowed be our names.

- David

Jesus Jumped-Up Christ

Or Why Today Already Sucks Wrinkly Donkey Balls: A List of Current Grievances

• I woke up late and didn't get to ride into work today.


• The wind would have been blowing against me both coming and going, anyway.


• I'm poor struggling.


• Pets are dumb, sometimes.


• Apparently cops have nothing better to do than write us parking tickets.


• I got stuck on the drawbridge for a good fifteen minutes.


• Owning motorized vehicles is expensive, and I'm neither able or willing to do so anymore.


• Work is stressing me out lately.


• A city bus blatantly pushed me into another lane on my bike last night.


• I don't know how I'm going to buy Christmas presents.


• Yesterday it was over 70 degrees. In December.


• It appears I have knee problems from the Hummer Incident.


• Saddle sores.

- David

Thanks Be to The Kiwis

I'm a sucker for vintage stuff. I love cigars, straight razors, and things made of wood.

So when I stumbled across SoloCC.com (via the ever-awesome Fyxomatosis) I was immediately smitten. Besides hot, newer type stuff they also have vintage jerseys. I knew that one day I'd probably start switching out my old t-shirts for something a little more fitting, but until Solo I never had a solid idea of what that'd be.

When I created my Christmas and Birthday Wishlist (they're only five days apart) I put a bunch of SoloCC stuff down.

Apparently somebody noticed the website traffic coming from my little blog because today I got an e-mail asking for an address to send my free cap and t-shirt to! How cool is that?

Now I'm probably just in post-swag bliss, but this was an awesome thing to do. Especially since the company is all the way in New Zealand and I get a measly three-hundred and fifty hits per month. The guy even knew my shirt size.

Solo, I salute you.

- David

What Up, Mr. Lipton

Last night after seeing an advert for James Lipton and his Actor's Studio show (which I've never watched but seen Will Ferrell do a ton of times) I asked Kasey what she'd like God to say to her when/if she got to Heaven. It's a tough question, I guess, and she didn't know.

I've been thinking about it since then, and decided to just do the whole list, which I found online when looking for the exact wording of the infamous final question. I am quite aware that if this was on someone's MySpace I would scoff and roll my eyes, but I don't care.

1. What is your favorite word?
Cathartic.

2. What is your least favorite word?
"Allegably" or any of it's variations. That's not even a word, people. My name is David, and I'm a card-carrying spelling and grammar nazi.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Movie and music, being outside, having someone unique around.

4. What turns you off?
Numbers. Dwelling.

5. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck. The Versatile Classic. Although "cunt" it working it's way up the list. It's probably due to the British blogs I've been reading lately.

6. What sound or noise do you love?
Sleeping noises, like rustling blankets, people's and animal's breathing when they sleep. My bike tires over wet pavement. That noise guitar strings make when the hand changes positions quickly.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
When girls cry or throw up. It's the worst. High-pitched scraping noises that make your teeth hurt.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Massage therapy.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything in sales. I hate being a salesman.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Hey buddy, good to see you. Go get some lunch with your brother and then we'll send you back down for another go."

- David

Bonus Round!

If Hell exists, what would you like to hear Satan say when you arrive at the fiery Gates o' Hell?
"Good job, buddy! Grab a cigar, the buffet is over there. We got Wes Anderson to make a film about your life, after the movie we'll send you back up for another go."

The Greatest Form of Flattery

It's either mockery or emulation, I can't remember which.

Either way, Sinfest once again gets my vote for Cutest Comic Evar.


My weekend was passable. On Saturday I joined up with a group of patrons from my local bike shop and we headed out on a twenty-four mile ride. There were about seven of us total and the pace was mellow enough to be enjoyable but not annoying. I had my fears about keeping up with a pack of spandexed, carbon-wielding, fifty-geared peers but I more than held my own. It was fun.

I cleaned my apartment, took a hot bath, a nap or two with the cat and the gal, read, helped make a cake, helped eat some cake, changed a tire, got some new scrapes, failed to pirate software, and made tea. Not bad.

I cannot believe it's December. I don't know if I'm carrying around negative connotations from last year or something, but I'm already sick of Christmas music/movies/TV specials. The weather, decorations, and gift-giving can stay though.

Okay, work is busy today. Taker 'er easy, pardners.

- David