Spinnin' Right 'Round

New pict0rs are up, including some awesome shots with the strange Hello Kitty camera I've been toting around. This is my new favorite of myself, if I can be blatantly vain for a moment.

I put a lot of miles on my bike yesterday riding around the city, trying to get some track stand practice in and just enjoying a windy nearly-autumn day in The Commonwealth o' Lovers. Tasks accomplished include a few ephemeral and shaky track stands, a bunch of pictures, a good cigar, and over an hour spent on a park bench enjoying the sun.

Today it seems like my one task will be to watch every episode in the running Law & Order: CI marathon and eat, eat, eat. Maybe more of that pumpkin beer I picked up on Friday. Mm mm.

Take 'er easy, amigos.

- David

Nothing Is Better Than Something Hard

Baby, don't take this the wrong way, but that whole last row is so how I feel about our relationship. And have since the beginning.

Except you aren't a miserable woman. Just very... elitist negatively opinionated towards everyone that isn't you. So it's extra awesome to be among the few on the positive side. <3

Also, coolest shirt of the year:


There's nothing like totally unrelated pop references piled on top of one another and somehow coming out like they were meant to be together.

In other news, I'll probably be e-mailing some accident lawyers today and seeing if I have a case to get my medical bills covered. I just got some mail from the hospital and my insurance company yesterday (still unopened at the time of this writing) and I don't want to even know. This thrice-weekly physical therapy can't be cheap.

Get to work!

- David

TEH ORIFICEZ IN YER FYACE

(4:02:43 PM) Lovah K: Ummmmmm honey
(4:03:00 PM) Lovah K: All new Season Premiere of The Office tonight.
(4:03:16 PM) BuddhaDave: FUCK
(4:03:18 PM) BuddhaDave: When
(4:03:20 PM) Lovah K: 9
(4:03:23 PM) BuddhaDave: Sweeet
(4:03:27 PM) Lovah K: How did you not know?!
(4:03:28 PM) Lovah K: haha
(4:03:38 PM) BuddhaDave: Cuz you got me distracted by ANTM and Bret Michaels
(4:03:41 PM) Lovah K: lol

I'm so pumped! The Office is a weak spot I have, and by "The Office" I mean "Jim and Pam" and by "weak spot" I mean, "thing that makes me cry just talking about it." Dwigt (yes, on purpose) is hilarious as well. But it's all about Jim n' Pam.

Okay, I have good momentum going at work, a lazy turd like me I shouldn't be wasting it.

Out!

- David

"Absolutely I do."

Sinfest Understands

Welcome to my daily life.

Complete with hot chick ass.

- David

Come To Daddy

StarcrossedCX (11 of 15), originally uploaded by Hugger Industries.

Okay, I'm really not being mean here but this little girl is a shoe-in for the Come to Daddy music video by Aphex Twin. The pics in this set are pretty cool, looks like a fun bike event.

Other fun events include impromptu trips to Best Buy, Taco Bell, and co-op plays of Guitar Hero with Kasey, Kenny, and his roommie. I have never partaken of Guitar Hero and it was damn fun last night. I did okay, but those games tend to hypnotize me after too long and I just get into this trance. We also watched Children of Men, although I was getting miffed when people kept talking through the best parts. It's a movie, people. Watch and discuss later. Later.

Tomorrow I interview peeps for the position of David's Bitch, which will be interesting. One of the guys I liked the best already found a job, but this other mofo I wasn't going to call now seems like a better fit. It will be nice to have someone else back here. I know I'm a lotta man, but two jobs is too many.

Despite three weeks off the wagon (and the bike) I didn't gain any weight like I expected. I figured babying my leg and sitting on my ass both at home and during my commute was going to feed the paunch, but apparently I got lucky. I even added a mile to my commute each way and I'm keeping the same time I was before.

The extra mile is to avoid traveling on an overpass that would require either using the sidewalk (something I only do if I really, really have to, now) or hoping angry fellow commuters don't run over a tiny boy killing himself to reach a maximum of fifteen miles an hour or so up the hill. So I go around. Less traffic, less stress. I found a cute little neighborhood that's being built as we speak (awesome for low car volume) and this crazy road that's made out of huge slabs of sidewalk and never has any vehicles but huge parked semis.

Okay, I need to get some shit done. Rock it.

- David

Get It Up

Up on your computer, that is.

On a recent trip to the grocery store I decided to do some free marketing for myself and started putting AbsentMindfully.com on the inside of all the freezer doors we opened for foodstuffs. An observant shopper would note that whoever committed this fleeting graffito likes French fries and vegetarian cuisine.

I took a pic, and decided to offer it as our first wallpaper:


A chill present from your friends at AbsentMindfully.com.

- David

Post Script: If anyone wants to take and Photoshop it so's it looks better, I would be grateful.

Teh Blogz Can Has Music

Hola Senoras y Senoritos.

I've been (sorta) working on a new feature of my cancerous web presence and today it's pretty much done.

My entire music library (sans the locked down shit from iTunes) is now available for you to listen to. You can stream it through any music player like iTunes, Winamp, Windows Media Player, etc, which basically means you don't have to download anything. It's my own tiny Internet radio station, which I update as soon as I get anything new and post a handy bulletin on the page to let you know what's hot.

You can listen to whole albums, create your own playlists, or have it pick out random songs for you. All through your browsez0r. Simply go to http://AbsentMindfully.com/kplaylist or click the "Streaming Music Library" link under the Stalk Me section on the right and create an account. Voila!

Let me know if there are any bugs. I've been testing it from work and Kasey McWerkingurl has used it at home, all with no problems. But you never know with these damn com-pew-tars.

Enjoy!

- David

OMGEE BYRDS!!1!

swarm04.jpg, originally uploaded by BodhiDave.

New pictors on Flicktors, which include a few like this, where a massive amount of birds overtake my apartment area every sunset before bedding down and creating a cacophony in the trees.

Sleep good.

- David

Yes, I Am A Puss

But a puss that can stop his bike in a shorter distance.


Isabelle Bonaparte, now with front brake.

- David

All Hail Isabelle Bonaparte Fixie

New bike new bike! I have dubbed her Isabelle Bonaparte Fixie, and she is so tiny and light. She arrived yesterday in a big rectangular box, which I easily hefted into the elevator, full of excitement.

I almost went straight home after work instead of getting the dogs food ("The dogs don't need to eat tomorrow, right?") but I decided to be a good daddy instead. Then it was on.


Unpacking was easy. The only scare came when I had to bring scissors perilously close to one of the tires to clip those hardcore plastic ties they had holding a tire to the body. Even with my sprained wrist I easily lifted it out of the box one handed. On the outside I was calm and composed, mindfully taking my time. On the inside I was like a frantic hyper-active child on Christmas who was opening his own gigantic Japanese robot, complete with rocket launchers.


She came mostly assembled, I only needed to install the seat, front tire (make sure the forks are the right way!), handlebars and pedals. The online store who sold me the bike provided helpful YouTube links of instructional bike building videos, but I ended up not needing them. Nice idea though, I thought it was really cool.


Finally she was done! Finishes touches came with the addition of my front and rear safety lights and the mount for my GPS unit. I hurriedly put on street clothes and borrowed a dollar from Kasey McPajamapants and headed out to the gas station to pump up my tires. Yes, I ride bikes daily. Yes, I'm dumb for not having one. Trust me, it bites me in the ass...


So after half walking, half jogging to my local 7 Eleven and fighting the intense urge to just jump on Isabelle and ride I finally put seventy-five cents into the machine that would make my bike complete. And stared. And stared some more.

In my haste I had not noticed that the nozzles on my tires were different from the ones on my old bike, or a car. Or the machine that was now counting down the three minutes of use before it'd shut off. I was horrendously and solidly screwed. I walked away down the street before the pump even had time to turn off.

So I walked around Olde Towne Portsmouth, heading vaguely for a bicycle shop I knew would be closed, hoping to run into another cyclist on a windy night at 8:30 who would have a pump on him and allow me to use it. But alas, no luck. Crestfallen I headed home to eat yummy vegetarian corn dogs and curly fries fresh from the oil fryer and watched Hitchcock movies and old episodes of Project Runway while Isabelle silently stared at me.

This morning after again hoping to run into a rogue bicyclist with a pump (and again not succeeding) we decided to have Kasey drive me to work for half an hour until the bike shops near here opened, then take me to get a pump, then drive herself to work after dropping me off. The main problem with no air in my tires is that most times (like today) she starts work hours after me and gets off hours before. Not so good on the gas or the time management.

One of the guys here who has been asking me about my bike since I wrecked my old one came out for a look and remarked that I'd have to go to a Sports Authority or something to get a pump. I hadn't even thought to check sporting goods stores. Google Maps showed one 1.8 miles away. I called, I inquired, I rejoiced. They were open, they had one. Hurrah! Drive drive, buy buy, pump pump, hoocha hoocha hoocha, bicycle.

Speaking of, I need to take her out for our first spin. Time to go to the physical therapist!

Take er' easy, pardner.

- David

Hiya!

Okay, I just can't stop watching this. I think it's because the kids are so adorable.



Thanks be to Aero.

In other news...


My bike will be delivered today! Yesterday went by in a blur, today is going at a crawl. I have no energy and all my Triscuit rations are gone, and I'm refreshing the UPS tracking page so hard I'm in real danger of breaking the Internets.

- David

My First Video Project

That doesn't involve the words "cam", "whore", and "take off your underwear".


Click the title of this here post for the medium-sized version, or here for the full-sized one in all it's glory. The higher up you go, the better it looks. You should probably right-click the links and choose "Save As..." so it can download first. Otherwise it may be choppy.

Yes, it's sixteen minutes long. Yes, that's sixteen times longer than most people's attention span. But it's worth it. And I'm not saying that only as the creator, but also as a... client?

My goal was to impart the trip as a complete fluid whole, from getting my bike off it's kickstand to getting into my office so there is very little that is cut out. I recorded continuously from the time I left my apartment until I entered my office building and only cut out those parts that the camera didn't pick up well, like the elevator ride (too dark) and transferring the camera from my bike to my body during the ferry ride and back (too choppy). The rest is just in fast-forward to save time.

It has a fun soundtrack that I hope is enjoyable and entertaining, and probably stuff you're not familiar with. I put some work into it so it shouldn't be too amateurish. So far the part where I'm sitting on a bench eating a breakfast bar in fast-forward is the viewer's favorite.

This is the project I was gathering commute footage for when I got into that fateful collision with lord only knows how many dollars worth of full-body decals and fuel-inefficiency. I'll do another of the trip back home in the near future.

Mr. Nano McHottieface has pre-screened this production and found it enjoyable, remarking that my ass is both "curvaceous like mountain roads" and appears "hard enough to break walnuts on." Whatever that means.

In other news, my bicycle is now in Virginia! Woo! I should have it tomorrow but internally I'm willing it to appear tonight. According to Kaseyface the last town UPS reports it being scanned at is only a few hours away, so that dumb part of all human kind that hopes against hope is telling me my wish will come true. But, that same part also told me I'd be able to smoke cigars at work if I looked cool enough while doing it, and that didn't work out too well.

Hope your weekends were good, I gotta pound some more fix-ed machines out before I head off to purposefully hurt myself in the name of healing.

Adios!

- David

"There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it."
- Alfred Hitchcock

Seth Green Is Adorable

I started liking Seth Green when he showed up as Dr. Evil's redheaded son of reason and sarcasm in the early Austin Powers movies. Then came Party Monster, and I totally developed a hetero-crush. He's just so fabulous!

I had to look up who Chris Crocker is (here is the video Seth is perfectly parodying) and apparently he's very upset over Spears' poor performance reviews.

Okay, more work. *fixes eyeliner*

- David

Drink tickets!?

Comon Dr. Make It Hurt So Good

This humble blogger is nursing a wonderful cigar after playing doctor with his wonderful girl. She developed a bad fever sometime after Two today. Nothing is worse than seeing the ones you love suffer.

Today I had my first physical therapy appointment. Luckily the place is a short two miles away from my place of business, which is good on gas and time currently and in the (hopefully) near future be easy to bike to. Three times a week for a month with a staff that is very laid back and fun. I almost scored some birthday cake but I left a bit too soon. Filling out the little application which included all past injuries (right broken wrist, middle school; right broken arm, compound fracture, high school; right broken arm, radial, high school; left broken arm, middle school) made me realize how good it was to be alive. I've lived a good life.

My therapist surprisingly resembles my amigo Nano, and as a result I liked him immediately. He took measurements of my range of motion and strength. My right hand can squeeze with 105 lbs of force, while my left (broken) one produces a paltry 70. According to Dr. McNotNano we need to get about 15 lbs more out of it. He gave me a sheet with home exercises and we did some stretching and stuff that had my damaged bits twinging. They hooked me up with a brace normally brandished by carpal tunnel peeps to support my sprained wrist while I lifted shit for my werky.

Speaking of, that shit is crazy. All of a sudden every store in my company decided to send me upwards of seven computers a time for repair. I'm swamp-ed. And pissed at Microsoft. If I can geek out for a bit, Vista is a piece of shit. My stores are requesting that all reformatted machines with Vista get turned into XP, but apparently it's not doable. Nothing will work. It's like... buying a house. And you decide to put some new furnishings in it but afterwards none of your appliances work. Fucking Microsoft.

Okay, enough bitching. I need to go tend to my patient. She's having fever-delusions of slipping into a coma or worse while she's asleep.

Piece!

- David

Push It Real Good

Waiting for beverage joy before diving into a sea of broken computers and later, physical therapy.

I didn't even get that first sentence down before a woman asks for her money back, saying she'll just go to another Starbucks. So impatient. But they had her drink ready the very next second, so I guess she didn't have to. The hard workin' baristas were slammed while I was in there, but still remarkably polite and professional. I gave them the last of my cash and patient politeness for their troubles. Everyone should have to work at least a year in some kind of food service position to promote understanding and good-will towards the poor peeps sweating to get your girly coffee out in two minutes or your dinner to your table quickly and accurately.

I've been reading Into the Wild this week and I'm enjoying it. This is my first biography and while it is a little dry (I assume all biographies have this flavor) it's hard to put down. Basically this guy decides to trek across America and into Alaska after graduating (with honors) from a university on the East Coast. Doesn't tell his family, doesn't take anything really but some clothes, gives away all his money to a charity, and disappears. The author tracks down all the people he spent time around along the way and with the guy's pictures and journal spent a year reconstructing his story. The movie is coming out soon, you can see the trailer here. Vince Vaughn is in it, so right there you should be saying to yourself, "Ooh, I think I'll see it." He's dreamy.

Well, I need to do some work. Talk to the blog cuz the face ain't listenin'.

- David

Wright Place, Wright Time

wingly300.jpg, originally uploaded by BodhiDave.

I just took some surprisingly good photographs this weekend. Mostly of the Wright Brothers memorial, which was pretty cool.

In other news, there's a "weak" tropical storm heading this way and I'm excited for hardcore weather. Here's hoping for ball lightening and floods.

Time to go read "Into the Wild" which I just picked up along with donuts and "Marie Antionette" for the girl.

Take is easy, hermanos.

- David

Brokez0red!

Dr. McHandy diagnoses Davey as definitely damaged.

My left hand (NOT the one Dr. McER put a splint on) is broken. I will have a pinky knuckle no more, forever. It got squished down into my hand and unless I wanna get cut, it ain't coming back up. The other hand is sprained, and my knee is puffy with fluid but okay otherwise.

Driving all over the damn place is shitty. I see the tops of trees along my bike route and I get sad. Although I did just order my new bike! I am confused, as it's a pre-order with a shipping date of Sept. 20^th but I just got some UPS tracking numbers... Guess we'll see. Broken hand or no, I will be on that bike smiling and wrecking into shit the whole day it comes. Media will be available to you within a hours of getting it.

This weekend I'll be out of state for some R&R, cellphone updates may be forthcoming. Staying up at Nags Head, which sounds like a cranky place but probably isn't. I hope someone has a Wii or something, I want to get my nunchuck on.

Okay, I need to bust out some work before I leave. Take care, hermanos.

- David

The Aftermath

Bust out the cake and candles, it's time for a pity party. ;)



Does anyone know if I'd have a case against the radio station who owned that Hummer? I want a new bike and medical expenses.

- David