There Are Angels In Your Angles

And devils in your curves. The Decemberists are fantastic. I've had them on my iPod for like a month now but never got through more than a few songs. Now the album is running all day long. The Bagman's Gambit, We Both Go Down Together, The Engine Driver, and The Mariner's Revenge Song are all wonderful.

I'm staying in Arizona for about another month. My buddy in crime here at work said he almost cried when he heard. I wouldn't want to do this job alone either; my head would never get above water. Reasons for staying? Monies and time my friends, monies and time. More of both is very welcome at this point.

Today I feel good. I've been stressing out lately. I hate being poor when it affects someone else. I only laugh at myself when it's just me feeling the pinch. I know I could have done things differently, but here I am now. I'm trying not to waste energy with regret. I think my main problem was I had so much faith that I'd be able to keep this job and work remotely. It was the fulcrum of all my plans. But it didn't work out so now I'm scrambling to find some kind of balance. I just need a little break to get a leg-up and I'll feel a lot better.

I've started e-stalking R. Stevens. That guy has the life I want for myself. I should go back to college so I can teach kids stuff and get my webcomic going. Then I could have ample background so when I kidnap him and wear his skin around people won't know the difference... What? No, that doesn't sound creepy at all! Prude.

I almost decided to be an hour or so late for work today. I didn't want to get out of bed. Not in the grumpy way that focuses on all the crap I'd have to go through, but the subtle and more devious way that fixates solely on how great the sheets feel, how soft and loving the light coming in through the curtains is, and how adorable and tiny the smooth arm thrown over me is. The bed is tricksy and half-asleep math is always wrong in favor of slumber.

Okay, I better do some work. I want to leave in less than an hour and my ticket queue is bigger than my... well. It's big.

Have a great weekend, faithful readers.

- David

The whole body rejoices in unison from the complexity of it's multi-layered personalities to the simplicity of it's cells as it basks in the knowledge that it's been fed, it has shelter for the night, and it has just attempted to propagate it's species.

Ye Old Sexy

Type-writer Style Keyboard


RSS Feed Telegraph Sounder

Click the title for a lot of images on how they were made, etc. If I were handier, I'd so build that keyboard.

- David

OMGLOLROFLBBQFTW

Honestly, when I see people typing in caps I just hear this monotone mongoloid screaming in my head. It's painful.

Also, this reminds me of a certain special someone. A special someone who, once in a while, punches me apparently for no reason but really she just wants affection:



- David

Ron Burgundy: YOU CAN USE MY OFFICE AND AFTERWARDS MAYBE WE CAN GO TO LUNCH.
Ed Harken: Lower your voice, Ron.

Grace

Sinfest does it again.

- David

Oh, Yeah

My camera is still busted so this is coming way late. It's all healed up by now, although I'm thinking about going in to get it darkened up and have a fourth, smaller band added farther down my arm.

Inspired by The Fountain, my brother's passing, and the rosary beads I've been wearing for years now. With creative design by The K and applied subdermally (yes, I'm making words up) by Little Tab of Ink Bomb Tattoo.

- David

That ain't no magic marker, pard.

Hey Baby, Wanna Get Buried

I like this movie poster:



If was just walking by the theatre and saw this poster I'd go in. It wouldn't matter what it's about. Buried girls are hotness. I blame Quentin Tarantino; that whole scene with Uma Therman in the coffin was very subliminally erotic.

- David

Smug Satisfaction

Today while processing terminations (removing accounts for people no longer with the company) I realize that in about seven business days the same thing will be happening to me. I took some time off for a wedding, so I only work Monday and Tuesday this week. Then next week is my last.

My term will be massive. Probably the biggest one to date. And the most critical. I wonder if I'll be allowed to do it myself... I've often fantasized about it. But now it's real.

Next Tuesday my department is going to lunch together as a farewell thing. I'm already thinking about the questions they're going to be asking. I need to clean out my desk. I've started a massive list of all the people I'll e-mail to say goodbye too.

I'm on the cusp of an adventure, bitches.

- David

"David I will be having sex with you with or without food in the house."

Random? Damn Near Killed 'Em

I've been arguing with an older woman all afternoon. In my head, where arguments always end in your favor. I asked her for a completely unrelated favor (which I hesitate to do) and she implied that I should give my dogs to a "real" home with a backyard and kids and such. Because apparently the apartment she's never visited (in three years) aren't fit for the dogs she's never seen. I know I'm getting all defensive here, but my dogs are happy and healthy. I can't imagine abandoning them to strangers just because they have grass and snot-nosed midgets.

My last-ditch attempt at working remotely was denied last week. My last day with GoDaddy is Friday, March 30th. It's official. Just over four years. I just updated my resume on Monster and after a bit of late-night searching applied for a job doing technical writing. I'll do more hunting this weekend. Hopefully something good pops up soon. Either way, everything moves ahead as planned. Within the first week of April I'll be headed across country with all my animals and possessions.

I'm in love. She's beautiful. I love it when she puts her hair behind her ears. I look over at her and just stop everything. She stops everything. I'm in love. Capri pants, once so annoying, are adorable. Her hands are always beautiful. I could spend my days just listening to her sleep.

I have a record player. Tom Waits is in there. He won't come out.

Okay, I'm gonna lay down. Tomorrow is zoo day and fashion squares.

- David

Less Than Three Is In The Air

Guess what, bitches! It's official: I have a giiiiirlfriend. And no, she is not from Canada or blind. And if you can't tell already, this post is not going to be subtle or mature.

"But David," you may be thinking, "How could this be? Have you cursed any reflective surfaces with your horrid visage lately? Have you forgotten your cheesiness, your over-sensitivity, your annoyingly simplistic and up-beat view of life? And lest we forget, you mumble and smell!"

Oh ho, dear reader. All this and more is true. But I say to you:

Beer.

That's right! All it took was some Heffen to make this heifer a steed. Or at least an attractive donkey. The only downside is, I'll never know if it was the beer, the rope, the threatening faces I was making, or her heart that made her do it. Oh well. Potato potawto.

All joking and gloating aside, I'm happy like whoa. Even though all that's been "missing" for a while now was the title, it's still so nice to be able to say, "This is my girlfriend, Kasey." and "I'm sorry Leonidas! I have a girlfriend now! I can't take you to Pleasure Town anymore."

So if you see a bunch of humming birds and butterflies all heading in the same direction, you'll know where to find us.

- David

Donkeys don't give up!

Tom Waits for No Man

Today I was mentioning to Aero Flaco how I was given the most awesome gift of an actual Tom Waits record (made in 1988 no less) when he asks me who that is. I just stared at my screen, like perhaps The Matrix was playing a trick on me. But alas, no.

I remember what my life was before the Waits... He gave me hope when all I had was the far-off dream of one day waking up a fifty year old black man with that throaty gravel I love so much. After getting the soundtrack to Shrek 2 and hearing "Little Drop of Poison" (still my favorite of his) I discovered lo, this sound could come from a whitey! I felt the world renewed, like anything was possible.

All fanboyishness aside, Tom Waits really is amazing. His lyrics tell so much with so little. He can somehow smoothly work multiple varied stories and imagery into a single song. He has songs that make you stomp your feet and yell to the inside curve of your windshield with abandon, or have you sitting still and defeated staring off into the carpet as sorrow and loneliness overtake you. You feel what he feels.

I could squawk all day about him, but I'd rather post some of his music instead. Just some fun trivia I enjoy before we start: He likes to use strange and obsolete instruments in his music, from things I had to look up on Wikipedia to actual drum brakes from junkyard cars. (His sound has been referred to as a junkyard orchestra.) He absolutely will not allow anyone to use his songs in commercials. He drives the field-trip school bus for his kids' school. And sometimes, late at night, he goes down to his shed to spend quiet time with his BuddhaDave shrine*.

On to the music! These are the favorites of mine I could find on YouTube, ordered from how I found them.


Chocolate Jesus. This song makes me want to make out. For some reason. *shuffles away uncomfortably*


God's Away On Business. Yep, emus.


More Than Rain. Who's up for some retro hair?


Innocent When You Dream. I get this image of a bar full of Tom Waits-es singing with mugs of beer in their fists and a layer of liquid smoke in the air.


Smuggler's Waltz/Bronx Lullaby. I know I've posted this before, but damn it's one of my favorites.


Angels In Heaven. Ignore the German talky part. I'm pretty sure they just showed up at his house and he's like, "Okay, let's go out back and I'll play something."


I Don't Wanna Grow Up. Cuz really, I don't. I actually sing this regularly in my truck. Loud.


Blow Wind Blow. This song makes me think of being alone in the middle of a field at night. Plus, "smoking like a diesel" is a fantastic line.


Jesus Gonna Be Here. My speakers at work aren't working (ha!) so I dunno how this will sound. But this is one of my favorites by him. Yes, I can sing this. No, I don't know if it sounds good. Plus, deceptively catchy.


Telephone Call From Istanbul. I gotta wear the hat that my baby done sewed, woo!


Tango Till They're Sore. Make sure they play my theme song.


Time. I love all the little stories in this one.


Gun Street Girl. A very, very close second favorite of mine. Hopefully this live recording does the trick.


Little Drop of Poison. If this wasn't my favorite by my favorite singer, I wouldn't even post this. Just don't look.

Okay, that's all I can find on YouTube. Maybe I'll get really ambitious and just post links to MP3 files for y'all. Enjoy!

- David

Longest loading post evar!!1!

*Okay, maybe I made that up.

Daily Conversations

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

David Buchta [3:41 PM]:
I didn't know you was dieting
Ralacy! [3:44 PM]:
Well I went to my doctor yesterday for a physical and he told me that I should lose 10 pounds
David Buchta [3:44 PM]:
Meany1
David Buchta [3:44 PM]:
My doctor always says I'm perfect the way I am
Ralacy! [3:44 PM]:
and the guys at the gym told me that I have 20% body fat
Ralacy! [3:44 PM]:
hahah
David Buchta [3:44 PM]:
My gymnist always says I'm at 100% perfect
David Buchta [3:44 PM]:
However, both of them are my cat so I don't know if they're licensed
Ralacy! [3:45 PM]:
hahaha
Ralacy! [3:45 PM]:
OMG

---

David Buchta [2:22 PM]:
Scott's fiance wants me to wear a dress to her wedding
Teh Adrians [2:23 PM]:
she obviously has no qualms about you appearring fruity
David Buchta [2:23 PM]:
lol
David Buchta [2:23 PM]:
I think she wants an upskirt shot
Teh Adrians [2:24 PM]:
she needs to see meat wrapped in silk
David Buchta [2:24 PM]:
haha
David Buchta [2:25 PM]:
A silk thong does make me feel awfully pretty
David Buchta [2:25 PM]:
Emphasis on awful
Teh Adrians [2:25 PM]:
I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth
David Buchta [2:25 PM]:
haha

---

Aero Perfecto
11:14
I think the ocean is hiding that secret
BuddhaDave
11:14
heh
Aero Perfecto
11:15
just you wait
we gonna be like
"oh we gonna die!"
and I'm gonna look over to you
and be like
"I friggin told you"
BuddhaDave
11:15
lol
And I'll just be nodding
Laying on some grass with my hands laced together behind my head
Aero Perfecto
11:17
no , we gonna have swords
no time for relaxation mang
shits going down
BuddhaDave
11:18
haha, hotness
I'll be that total laid back character that always looks like he's on the edge of a nap, but moves total fast when he has to at the drop of a hat
Wah!
Aero Perfecto
11:21
haha, I'm down with that

---

Ingrid Bergman [2:14 PM]:
Where were you last night? I waited forever but you never came. :'(
David Buchta [2:14 PM]:
omg
David Buchta [2:14 PM]:
Ingrid look: We had some laughs and some great times, but it's over now.
David Buchta [2:15 PM]:
Please understand, I'm moving away and well...
Ingrid Bergman [2:15 PM]:
Well what? Is it because I'm only in black and white? That's it isn't it!
Ingrid Bergman [2:15 PM]:
My mother was right, oh she was right. Never date those colored boys.
David Buchta [2:16 PM]:
Colored?! You mean IN color right
Ingrid Bergman [2:16 PM]:
Jerk! You know I can't help it!
Ingrid Bergman [2:21 PM]:
Hello, are you still there?!
David Buchta [2:30 PM]:
Sorry, bathroom
David Buchta [2:30 PM]:
Ingrid look honey, it's not that. I love white skin. You look so classy.
Ingrid Bergman [2:31 PM]:
Don't try to flatter me now, hillybilly! Whitetrash! What is it then!
David Buchta [2:31 PM]:
It's, well. I don't want to hurt your feelings...
Ingrid Bergman [2:31 PM]:
Oh ho, too late for that mister!
David Buchta [2:31 PM]:
Alright. Well, you're dead! And I'm not! We just are heading in different directions!
Ingrid Bergman [2:34 PM]:
Oh. Well... Oh. I see.
David Buchta [2:34 PM]:
Are you, are you okay?
David Buchta [2:37 PM]:
...
Ingrid Bergman [2:39 PM]:
I'm fine. I'm fine. Have a good life, with your livingness and being more alive than me!
Ingrid Bergman [2:39 PM]:
Just know, I wasted the best years of my death on you!
[Ingrid Bergman has signed off]
David Buchta [2:39 PM]:
Women.

- David

True story.
Did you know that humor is my most commonly used self-defense mechanism?

Right Glad Was the Raven

I'm not into the whole revenge thing mostly, but I do love this poem. The whole last bit always makes me smile wickedly.

The Raven
Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1798)

Underneath an old oak tree
There was of swine a huge company
That grunted as they crunched the mast:
For that was ripe, and fell full fast.
Then they trotted away, for the wind grew high:
One acorn they left, and no more might you spy.
Next came a Raven, that liked not such folly:
He belonged, they did say, to the witch Melancholy!
Blacker was he than blackest jet,
Flew low in the rain, and his feathers not wet.
He picked up the acorn and buried it straight
By the side of a river both deep and great.

Where then did the Raven Go?
He went high and low,

Over hill, over dale, did the black Raven go.

Many Autumns, many Springs
Travelled he with wandering wings:
Many summers, many Winters--
I can't tell half his adventures.

At length he came back, and with him a She
And the acorn was grown to a tall oak tree.
They built them a nest in the topmost bough,
And young ones they had, and were happy enow.
But soon came a Woodman in leathern guise,
His brow, like a pent-house, hung over his eyes.
He'd an axe in his hand, not a word he spoke,
But with many a hem! and a sturdy stroke,
At length he brought down the poor Raven's own oak.
His young ones were killed; for they could not depart,
And their mother did die of a broken heart.


The boughs from the trunk the woodman did sever;
And they floated it down on the course of the river.
They sawed it in planks, and its bark they did strip,
And with this tree and others they made a good ship.
The ship, it was launched; but in sight of the land
Such a storm there did rise as no ship would withstand.
It bulged on a rock, and the waves rush'd in fast;
Round and round flew the Raven, and cawed to the blast.
He heard the last shriek of the perishing souls--
See! see! o'er the topmast the mad water rolls!

Right glad was the Raven, and off he went fleet,

And Death riding home on a cloud he did meet,
And he thank'd him again and again for this treat:

They had taken his all, and REVENGE IT WAS SWEET!

- David

P.S. Any errors can be attributed to the black & white mocha coursing through my veins.

Everyone Is Forlorn

Although I always liked Betty, better.


*sigh* I love Sinfest. It's so adorable and well done.

- David

Barney can steal all the Coco Pebbles he wants, I'll be having his wife for breakfast.

Dogs Have No History

Communication is a funny thing. Well, it is for me. My parents went to the Bahamas for a week, and I didn't even know until I couldn't get a hold of them and finally had to call the farm. I left like five messages for my brother, and I still didn't hear from him until I called him tonight. He was having dinner and said he'd call me back. That was a few hours ago.

I'm sure I do things like that all the time. Hell, I flew to the East Coast and my dad had to find out from my grandma. I think. He called while I was having Mexican food for breakfast and made sure I wasn't kidnapped.

It's the same way with some of my most beloved friends. I have a friend who lives less than an hour away. I love him to death, but we've hardly ever hung out. And we've lived in the same state since 2001. Another man from the same clan and I have only met once, even though we talk daily and candidly. For years now. Old friends from high school keep in contact through MySpace. I met and wooed an amazing gal, all online. I'm a lot better looking online, anyways.

Aaaaaaand I just lost my train of thought. Stupid TV. That Homer is adorable though.

Don't get me wrong. I love traditional forms of communication. My fountain pen is my baby. I'm recording all my thoughts in an old-school notebook. I love writing. A lot of that is just in the texture of the paper. And you can't beat body language, voice tone, facial expressions... Just being there with a person. Actual, physical human contact is the best thing. Ever. We're wired for it. Our cells rejoice.

I prefer the real thing, but the electronic stuff isn't half-bad. It pulls you through in a pinch. Makes it easy to stay in touch. Closes the gab between miles and miles.

And if I can get hokey for a bit here, to the heart there is no such thing as distance.

- David

Disclaimer: I am oddly tired. I cannot be held responsible. But I went through the trouble of muting the TV for commercials and staying slightly linear, so I'm not backing out now.

That's No Moon

Little worries have been creeping into my head. A new start is fast approaching. A whole new life. In about four weeks. It's exciting and scary all at once.

I'm a pretty positive guy, I think. I try to see the bright side of all things, and my default outlook is optimistic. Sometimes I probably appear too optimistic. I just figure, you can choose to look at things one of two ways. Why go with the one that makes things harder?

Even though a lot of things could go wrong, and this next life could be difficult at first, I still smile. Despite the fears that sneak in when I'm half-awake. This, is living.

Besides, it's an adventure, not a field trip.

- David

Shiny Linoleum People

Once again I am struck by the quiet beauty of life alone in a grocery store.

Sitting here now next to the pharmacy, behind the free blood pressure checker (125 systolic, 75 diastolic, 73 heart beats per minute) I have to write down that this store can be so depressing or so pretty. Mostly depressing.

I limp down the cosmetics isle looking for my face wash, the weight of ten cans of Spaghetti-Os and other cheapy foods asymmetrically placed on the right side of my body and a gallon of orange juice ineffectively trying to balance me on the other. I can't hear the sounds of the store around me or my plastic soles on the linoleum floor for the music in my ears. I'm wearing a Crooked Crown while having an Anniversary.

Suddenly (like it always does) I am filled with the simple quiet everyday beauty of life. No apparent cause or source: I am happy. There is nothing but this subtle clean feeling in my chest. Like the sky on a clear spring day when it's still a little cool. Like it was today.

I couldn't bring up the worries I had five minutes ago unless I really tried. And honestly, why? They're not real anyway. Only this pen and this basket of groceries next to me are real. No need to play make-believe.

I'll get up in a few minutes. It's time to enjoy.

---

Next week I'll be making a forty-two thousand mile journey to save a my favorite redhead from daylight savings time, and nestle her sweetly in the embrace of Arizona's changeless clocks. I can't have her an hour farther away from me, now can I. Goodness no.

- David

Scream, Scream It Loud, Sing It Out, Make Your Lover Proud