Week End

This weekend went by quickly but it seems that a lot happened.

My camera is busted, number one. It was in it's case, in my bag, in my house. I picked up my man-purse (I refuse to say "murse") and it slipped out of my hand, falling at most from just below my hip to the floor. And I ain't tall. Later that night I try to turn her on and she won't. The only thing that happens is the flash dealy pops up. No happy green "I'm On" LED. No whir o' the lens. Nothing. I charged the battery all night just in cast it didn't have enough juice, but no. Alas, my camera is dead. Looks like I'm going to be a dedicated Polaroid shutterbug now. I don't even know any camera repair shops.

I met my grandpa's Danish cousin. From Denmark. He's not a pastry. I don't think. His name is Frank and his wife's name is Oola. I know someone in real life named Oola! They're a cute couple. She has short silver hair and glasses, and has a hard time speaking English although she understands it. Frank speaks English pretty well; once in a while he uses a weird phrase but you still get the point. Like, "How many hours do you use flying from Idaho?"

We eat at Outback Steakhouse. We eat there a lot. I order the only pasta dish on the entire menu and ask for it vegetarian. My grandpa makes this face and then kind of looks away. He always forgets, I think. Not only does the pasta come with two different kinds of pork (the ninja of meat) but also chicken. The waitress forgets this and only says no pork to the chefs.

It's okay; I eat around the strips of bird and when I'm nearly done she comes back with another plate sans-flesh and apologizes. She's vegetarian too and had them make another one when she realized. I have dinner in my fridge! And junk in my trunk, but that's another story.

My dining room is full of boxes set for storage. Saturday The H's came and packed up everything that wasn't mine into three piles: Take, Storage, and Donate. Take and Donate have left town. Storage is hanging out a bit. Patches of walls seem so white now. Favorite dishes are gone. All day Sunday I was going, "Oh, yeah." as I opened doors and cupboards.

The place does feel less cluttered, though. Once I go through the purging process I'm sure my apartment will seem big and simple again. I need to get rid of a lot of stuff. That shit accumulates so easily. Books I'll never read again, knick-knacks, old computer hardware. Time to simplify. It will feel good.

On Sunday I took a two hour nap on accident. I had been up late and gotten up early to help see Donate off. I ate some oatmeal hoping the maple-y goodness would wake me up and fell asleep to stupid Sunday morning cartoons instead. I came halfway awake once and saw my dogs laying in a patch of sunlight on the floor together. Who was I to argue with the chosen Buchta Apartment Activity of the Day? Two to one, after all.

Pan's Labyrinth was good. I like Guillermo del Toro and the story wasn't just a fantasy story. I wouldn't even classify it as fantasy, really. I liked the visual style and I really enjoyed the faun. Even though he didn't really do anything I still never fully trusted him. That Pale Man with the eyes in his hands scared me! The whole theatre was squirming during that part.

Okay, I think that's good. I should get back to woik.

- David

It's more than rain.

Works Every Time

tee hee

- David

Thought O' The Day

Unconditional Sincerity

Just saw it in a book, thought I'd share.

- David

Here We Go

I just sent the e-mail to my bosses requesting the ability to work from Virginia.

Let's wish everybody putting it out there on the line good luck today.

- David

Send out them good vibes, hep cats.

Today, This Is Me

Grah

- David

So What's New?

So. People ask me this all the time and usually I reply that things are just chugging along. Work, trying to clean, etc. Same old same old.

But really that's not true.

I'm sure by now everyone knows that I'm going through a divorce. I've been living alone for a bit in my apartment with the doggies and kitties. I'm growing my hair out. I now have a loan in my name for the remaining balance of my truck. Maybe I can get some credit! I'm still wearing my brother's shoes around and thinking about him daily. I'm getting over a cold.

But the biggest news, and the one I haven't told many people, is that I'm moving. Out of State. To Virginia. It's official.

I've put down the security deposit and they're holding apartment 13C for me. I have a collection of papers that explains garbage disposals and freight elevators and my new address. I took a tour of the building last weekend.

I don't know how to tell people, and mostly that's why I haven't. Different people will react in different ways. They'll form different theories as to my motives and reasons. I want to explain a bit and it's always easier to write things out.

Hopefully this doesn't come out too complainy.

I don't like this apartment anymore. In fact, most times it upsets me to be here. This is one reason why if you visited me today you'd see a mess. I just don't care about it. It's not my home anymore. It was at one point, but that changed with everything else.

This kind of applies to Phoenix and it's surrounding cities as well. They're just reminders. Of course there are still things here I love and will miss. But overall I think a change would do wonders for me. I'm feeling weighed down by the old life I had here.

Besides some people from work, there's not really anyone here for me to hang out and go do things with. My online friends have become my core group of amigos.

All this means I'm not enjoying Arizona anymore.

So why Virginia?

I've always liked the idea of living on the coast. It gets cold there. It actually has seasons. It's beautiful. It's far away and new. They have trees and green. There's a girl there. My apartment is on the Thirteenth floor and faces the water.

Besides, why not?

I know there's a lot to be done. Things to be worked out. Time to pass. But that's my "What's New" lately. It's scary and exciting. I'm looking forward to it. Wish me luck.

- David

Shut Me Up

Too fun not to post.

- David

A Buncha More Pics

prettyasian.jpg, originally uploaded by BodhiDave.

Not all as lovely/lucky as this one, though.

- David

Click "BodhiDave's photostream" after clicking the picture above to see the rest. kthxbye

Bad News, Baby I'm Bad News

Rilo Kiley has to be the best name ever.

- Davis

Fifty-Four Stolen Hours

And a fitting Two-Hundredth post.

- David

omg

Prepare to be scarred.



Oh VG Cats.

- David

The Method Werks - Session One

I'm in my tree talking to Trent Reznor and he's making me feel better.

Trent says to get it all out. Get it allll out. It's okay. That's it. Good.
Trent gives me a black t-shirt. He says they always help him feel better.
Trent reminds me that the ingredients required to make Screwdrivers are all in my fridge.
Trent doesn't have his hair anymore, even in my tree.
Trent is only helpful now because I can yell Physical. Before that he didn't really care.
Trent doesn't believe in unconditional.
Trent likes bruises.
Trent knows that really getting into The Becoming gives me chills, and he smiles.
Trent says that although his music doesn't really show it, he knows life is beautiful more often than not.
Trent doesn't work out, but has nice arms anyway. I venture it's the anger, he just shrugs.
Trent knows I'm scared. He looks kind of excited. I think this means it's good.
Trent laughs good-naturedly when I expound my theories on the Buddhist meanings in his songs.
Trent says you can't get away from suffering.
Trent is right.
Trent squints peacefully off into the distance as I stare down at my dangling feet and the grass beyond them.
Trent nods silently as I think that you can't placate a Buddhist with promises of the future.
Trent likes my orange, mean, cat.
Trent and I think there will be an unopened dusty cardboard box in my new apartment for a while.
Trent enjoys Tom Waits.
Trent says I need to sing more, I don't do it as much as I used to.
Trent appreciates sticking it to the man by slacking off like this, but says I should get back to work.

- David

Elite Beat David

Oh yeah. That's me. I know you're impressed.

- David

Look Ma! I'm on the Internets!

Readings

"...She who lets go of the knife will find the Tao at her fingertips."

"Do not go about worshiping deities and religious institutions as the source of the subtle truth.
To do so is to place intermediaries between yourself and the devine, and to make of yourself a beggar who looks outside for a treasure that is hidden inside his own breast.

If you want to worship the Tao, first discover it in your own heart.
Then your worship will be meaningful."

"The mature person perceives the fruitlessness of rigid, external methodologies;
Remembering this, he keeps his attitude unstructured at all times and thus is always free to pursue the Integral Way."

- David

Happy Sunday

I had to hunt for this, enjoy.

Love Hina is crack and sunshine all mixed into an impossibly adorable package.

- David

Where Has My Hero Gone?

Lisa and friend, originally uploaded by Danimalanimal.

Trenty whyyyyyyyy?!

*sniffle*

- Da-da-david

Mogwhat?

Friend of the Night

Everything I've heard by these guys is beautiful.

- David

AIM To Please

thedixflatline: Gah
thedixflatline: I have stupid Linkin Park stuck in my head
Vain Devi: hahhaa
Vain Devi: It's so adorable to hear you talk about bands like Linkin Park and Metalica and stuff
thedixflatline: lol
thedixflatline: But whyyy
Vain Devi: It's hard to explain..
Vain Devi: I just don't see you as a normal everday person. To me, you're someone who's so.. I don't know. So above the mediocrity of.. stuff like that.
Vain Devi: I dont know I cant explain it.
Vain Devi: like if for some reason you didnt know who the hell Linkin Park was (even though EVERYONE knows who they are, whether you want to or not) it wouldnt surpise me.
Vain Devi: just because.. ugh I dont know.
Vain Devi: in the same way I wouldnt expect a monk to know who they are, I guess
Vain Devi: So when you mention them I'm just like "AW!"
Vain Devi: because you're reeaaaalll and I love you.

- David

White Ninja Can't Get Any Cuter

- David

It's Teh Little Things

Like...

Lots of fun random happy songs sent over AIM by prescription.

Lunch with an old friend on Tuesday.

Unexpected free tea at my desk, and a box or two on they way.

The Spam calendar in my cubicle.

Getting five pugs to (almost) instantly behave.

My bike.

Elite Beat Agents.

Sleepy voice.

Scrubs.

Cuddle dogs and puggy snores.

I Know You Are But What Am I?

Probably getting to sleep at a decent hour.

- David

Let's Get This Out of Me

My apartment is a mess. I'm a mess. My dog is sick.

I can't bring myself to clean. One cannot take care of something one does not care about. There's no motivation, no reason. No energy. No point. The kitchen and the bedroom are about the only ones that look decent. Eating and sleeping. The essentials.

This city is a cemetery and this apartment is a tomb. I feel the weight as soon as I get here. It's not a home. I want to clean it all out, sanitize it, defragment it, boil my possessions down drastically. To the minimum. To hell with the rest.

I have to go to work tomorrow. I don't know if that will help me or not. It could go either way. I'd just have to come back here.

I'm not sleeping like I should. I eat when my stomach hurts. It all seems pointless.

I switched out calendars today. I took the old one down from above the small shelf where my shoes and bag go and sat cross-legged on the couch copying over important dates. Well over half the ones from last year don't have to be remembered this year.

I spent my birthday on small obscure roads between the sagebrush desert of Idaho and the concrete desert of Arizona. I'm twenty-four. I didn't even have the energy to get drunk for New Year's. I had a screwdriver sitting in front of me untouched for hours. Damn it I just need to cry.

Suffering is part of the human experience. It rises and falls like everything in this world. It will pass, and I'll be okay. Right?

- David

Let's make a fast plan, watch it burn to the ground.