New Jersey, Not New Jersey

Hanging out at my favorite local bike shoppe on Saturday, I spied with my spectacled eye a new jersey hanging up next to the tiny television that's always playing some kind of bicycle footage with the volume off.

Bearing the name of the eternal Eddy Merckx and devoid of any company names (I'm only a walking billboard when I wanna be), it appeared to be just my taste and size. I like 7-11 and all, but I'm not I'm sure I want their name on my ass.

I took it down, and sure enough, it was a small. And being that I am tiny, it fit like a glove. My amigo and riding comrade Jeff took the pics. He figured the owner probably wouldn't sell it and we should play a prank on him: We'd take the pictures and send one to him in an e-mail with a big ol' thanks for the $25 deal the shop attendant gave me.

Luckily St. Gordon (the owner) arrived some time later and after joking around and peer-pressuring Jeff into blowing dough on his bike I subtly mentioned the quality of the jersey and it's fit on my person.

This was done innocently after Gordon had apologized for the delay on an ordered part and a promise to make it up to me. As a result of my Sun Tzu-ian strategy I walked out of there with my first jersey for around $35 off. Yay for me and unintentional debts.

As soon as I got it home I modeled it for The Gal (who, I have to add, did O.K. the purchase, after I slid outside and explained the whole situation over the phone, with a surprised "You don't have to ask me to spend $50." For the record, I wasn't asking for permission as much as checking with my accountant to see if bills could be paid. I swear.) She admired it's construction and fit as much as any girl who isn't into bicycling can. Bless her heart.

Today was the maiden voyage, although anyone without X-Ray specs wouldn't have been able to tell. It was rainy and cold so I had a jacket on over top.

I'm looking forward to seeing what all the fuss is about. Are they really useful or is it just part of the whole trip? What are the benefits? Will it trap smells? Does it make me look fat? These are important questions I intend to answer.

Fear not, ladies and gentlemen of the Internet and along my riding routes, the purchase of a jersey does not entail the purchase, and subsequent wearing, of spandex bicycle pants and/or shorts. I am not going down that road, and the world will be a better place for it. I've been told my ass is nice and perky, but unless you've bought me drinks or offered candy from the window of your van, you don't get to see it.

Alrighty, back to woik. It's Thursday and I need to get some momentum going of I'm gonna make it to the weekend. I went home sick yesterday with a case of vomititus. Safe journeys, one and all.

- David

Pay no attention to the helmet hair or the dorky face!