Up, Up, and Away
I generally like airports.
I like the smell. I'm inside Phoenix Skyharbor airport right now waiting for a plane to take me to Salt Lake City, Utah. From there a tiny plane with propellers will take me to Pocatello, Idaho. The airport is in the middle of a wheat field and all you can see is the tops of yellow grain as the plan slants down for landing.
I wish this was a vacation trip. I wish this had been planned out in advance and not thrown together in a day. I wish this was pleasure, not business. I wish my brother was still alive.
My youngest brother Seth was killed in a car crash early Sunday morning. He was hit head on by another vehicle as he returned from a date. His birthday was next month.
This is my first funeral in a decade. The last family member I lost was my great-grandmother and she was near a hundred years old. This is a lot different.
Right now it's so far away. I'm so far away. I expect that as I move closer to home, so will the grief to my heart. I've kept it off so far, but I can't run forever.
I remember the day he came home for the first time. I was six. He was so precious and new. I kissed his cheek so hard and long it left a fading red mark on the round of his face. He was so new.
Most of me hopes it's an open casket. I still can't say funeral. I'm using the term "service" and other terms that are at a safe distance. I hope it's an open casket so I can see him one more time. Last time was Christmas. I've been eight hundred and sixty miles away for five years. He grew up while I was gone. I didn't even get to know him.
Don't wait to tell people how you feel. Don't wait to be honest and true. Don't wait to spend time with them. Don't be afraid. In an instant my brother was gone forever. That's all it takes. Don't be afraid.
- Dave
I like the smell. I'm inside Phoenix Skyharbor airport right now waiting for a plane to take me to Salt Lake City, Utah. From there a tiny plane with propellers will take me to Pocatello, Idaho. The airport is in the middle of a wheat field and all you can see is the tops of yellow grain as the plan slants down for landing.
I wish this was a vacation trip. I wish this had been planned out in advance and not thrown together in a day. I wish this was pleasure, not business. I wish my brother was still alive.
My youngest brother Seth was killed in a car crash early Sunday morning. He was hit head on by another vehicle as he returned from a date. His birthday was next month.
This is my first funeral in a decade. The last family member I lost was my great-grandmother and she was near a hundred years old. This is a lot different.
Right now it's so far away. I'm so far away. I expect that as I move closer to home, so will the grief to my heart. I've kept it off so far, but I can't run forever.
I remember the day he came home for the first time. I was six. He was so precious and new. I kissed his cheek so hard and long it left a fading red mark on the round of his face. He was so new.
Most of me hopes it's an open casket. I still can't say funeral. I'm using the term "service" and other terms that are at a safe distance. I hope it's an open casket so I can see him one more time. Last time was Christmas. I've been eight hundred and sixty miles away for five years. He grew up while I was gone. I didn't even get to know him.
Don't wait to tell people how you feel. Don't wait to be honest and true. Don't wait to spend time with them. Don't be afraid. In an instant my brother was gone forever. That's all it takes. Don't be afraid.
- Dave
posted by BuddhaDave at
1:09 PM
3 Comments:
My condolences to you and your family, heard the news this morning. Hope your okay.
-Ethan
I was wondering where you were. I'm very sorry to hear that Dave. I love you man.
I'm sorry Dave. I know what you mean about not wanting to call it a funeral and hoping for an open casket. I lost a friend about a month ago (also to a car accident) and I wanted to think of the service more as a celebration of his life and the fact that he's in a better place, and thats actually what it turned out to be coincidentally. It was nice, in a somber sort of way, ya know. It definately helps to remember the good times you had with that person cuz that's ultimately what keeps them with you forever.
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