Addendum

E-mailed Submission

I remembered for weeks to put this into my confession post, but then
forgot once I got to writing. I kept thinking, "There is something
else I'm forgetting..." But it was late so I left it and went to bed.

I want to be your favorite. And yours. And yours, and yours, and
yours, and yours as well. Everyone's. I want to be the most exciting
and special person in your life. I want to be the life of the party,
the light in the dark, the guy everyone loves. And not just loves,
loves the most.

I want you to notice when I'm not around. I feel the constant need to
be special and unique and worthwhile in your eyes. I don't think I'm
any good unless you think I am. My sense of self worth comes from you.

I'm funny so that you'll like me. I'm nice so that you'll think I'm a
nice guy. I do my hair (when I have it) a certain way that lends to my
cuteness so that you'll notice me. Your approval isn't 100% of why I am
who I am and why I do what I do, but its a huge amount. I think deep
down I'm a nice guy, but I express it to be liked more than anything.

I want to collect loves and lovers. I want to keep them in my pocket
like marbles. I can have other loves but I want to be your only one.
I want your to be mine securely and forever. I want to collect people
that love me and never stop. I want the be the one for everyone.

I'm an attention whore. If I don't get noticed by people I feel
affection for I get depressed and hurt. I'm not getting what I feel I
so desperately need. I'm an addict. I use you for my fix.

This is the first step. I didn't consciously know this before. Now its
out there. I don't want to use you anymore. I want to have a clean
relationship with you, no strings or ulterior motives. I'm sorry.

- BuddhaDave

Amazing the things you realize washing your face in the sink one
morning.