Hopefully This Helps

<i>E-mailed Submission</i>

I am in a foul mood. A very foul mood. The kind that makes you tired
after a couple hours of being in it. I can't get out. So now I'm
drained and generally upset.

Why? Because of dogs. And no orange juice. And uncomfortable
meditation cushions. And a crappy session. But mostly because of
dogs. Why can't they just sit still and shut up! Why don't they know
what I want and do it? Don't they know English!

But all that is a lie. Its not because of dogs or OJ. Its because of
me. I've discovered I am more easily irritated when I meditate at home
than if I don't. Why? I think its because I expect something to
magically change into Perfect House with Perfect Pets and Perfect
Everything. Somewhere in my head I have it that meditating fixes my
day for me. Like getting my butt on that mat is all it takes.

But it doesn't. In my head that buys me a good day, and when the first
thing goes wrong I'm upset. What the fuck, I paid for a good day.
Where is it? The service in this place is shitty. I'm going to
complain.

And boy do I. Mostly in my head, bu its going on alllll the time. Its
tiring. I need to stop. But today I can't.

I'm pretty crappy at this game. Its sad to see but also good to know.
I think once I have some energy I'll feel better about it. But right
now I'm just blech and blugh and blah.

- BuddhaDave

Can't... crawl... out... of... pit... or... form... full... sentence...