We Have Ourselves Some Wieners!

Yes, the contest has ended. The winners are (in order):

My brother the hero, Thadius!
Not just Jon, iJon!
Short and sweet Sami!
She's naughty, she's nice, The Misses!
The coolest cat in town, Douglas!

Congrats! Now here's what you've won!

...

I'm not sure yet. I have some funny ideas but I want to let them stew for a bit. They'll be good, I promise. And quick in delivery. Just like me! Wait, that came out wrong.

- BuddhaDave

Will there be prizes? Yes. Can you show them to your mother? ...Probably not.