28 Days Later

On the Fourth of July Jonas will be one month old. It seems like much longer than that since we sped to the hospital at Four a.m. I feel like I've been a dad forever, although I still falter when applying that name to myself.

Even in the pain of exhaustion, in the twinge of my shoulder from holding and rocking without pause or rest, there is love. Like a hard, bright diamond core. My body is failing, my mind is dissipated like static in the open air, but I am happy. He cries seemingly without end, yet I smile at his wailing face. I am so happy he is alive.

Looking into his face we can sometimes see the future, see the person he's going to grow into. It's more than just following a logical progression, it's an honest glimpse, magical and fleeting. When he was born, it was like seeing someone I knew but couldn't quite place. For days I couldn't shake the feeling. From the very first moment I could pick him out of a million babies when before all newborns were indistinguishable to me.

Holding him against my chest, feeling his tiny rhythmic breath, I marvel at what we've done. Unexpectedly and without any intention we have created life. We have created a tiny self-sustaining heart that will beat and beat and beat for a lifetime. We have made lungs that breathe, hiccup, coo, and eventually laugh, talk, and sing. I can't imagine how this is possible, yet there he is. Waving his arms. Breathing. Beginning to look into our eyes. Crying. Some nights I risk waking him up to make sure he's still alive.

This month has been hard. It's obvious and cliche, but our lives are almost unrecognizable. Something else is forming from what I'm tempted to call the rubble. But I wouldn't change it back. I can't wait to spend time growing up with him.

- David

Cuddles

Cuddles, originally uploaded by BodhiDave.

More pics of the lil' guy are up. In case yer interested.

- David

I'm Alive

It's true. If you follow me you already know that, but for those that only stalk me using this blog, this post is for you.

Stuff is going well. Jonas cries a few seconds less every day and is gaining weight about like he should. We gave him his first bath yesterday and it was adorable. At first he just kinda laid there like, "Ooooookay..." but when the water started to cool down he got upset. He likes it hot. He actually slept from about 11:45pm until around 5:30am today, it was awesome. I'm still tired as balls though.

My parents came down and visited for five days and it was really, really nice. I haven't seen them in a long time and they've never been here before. We walked around a lot, saw some new stuff, ate a bunch. My dad came over and watched Religulous one night. I really liked having them here. It was cool to see him holding Jonas. I hope they come back soon. More on their trip later.

Kasey is still off work tending to the little guy. It seems like she's never worked before already! She still has like two months left. Crazy. She's already lost a bunch of weight and she's doing good with Jonas, which believe it or not is the first baby she's ever held. Only dropped him twice so far! It's cool to see her holding him too.

I haven't ridden a bike in ages. Well, I've ridden to the store, etc. But it's hard to count something that only lasts ten minutes. I haven't biked to work in what feels like a year, even though it's only been a few weeks. My knees hurt more than when I ride, and I swear my legs get less defined by the day. It saddens me, but I'm just so damn tired. Maybe I'll start using the rollers out on the deck or something, just to get some pedaling in but not be too far away from home and family. Once that would have felt silly, but now it seems viable.

Other than that it's lots of movie rentals, a little reading, naps here and there, and work. I'm thinking of getting a Jonas tattoo soon, we'll see.

Take care ya'll.

- David

Update Yer Feed

As part of the move to DavidCake.com I'm also updating the RSS feed link. Please update your readers and shiz to point to the new Cake Feed. This will be the last post made with the old link.

Spanks!

- David

The Cake Is A Lie

Just a few changes around here. I've registered the domain DavidCake.com, which will be a lot easier to tell people than absent-mindfully, no matter how clever I think it is. As it is now you can go to both AbsentMindfully.com and DavidCake.com and get here.

I might also be changing the look/layout, but we'll see how that goes. I'm lazy and like how it's setup now.

In other news, I haven't eaten or slept in over a week. It's amazing. Jonas wakes up every two hours or so to be changed or fed. Sometimes it's less than two hours. In the wee morning hours his cries physically pierce my ears. There's no exaggeration in this. Have you ever closed your eyes really hard and heard that rumbling noise in your ears? It's like that, but with pain. Usually I change him, burrito him back up, and after a few minutes of rocking he's back out.

During the day his cries are actually endearing. I kiss his face, talk to him like we're having a conversation, etc. Again, after getting changed/fed and wrapped back up he's right as rain. He likes riding in the car. He likes the heat. He smells amazing. He makes faces that break and warm my heart. His legs are so long.

I feel physically feel like balls, but I wouldn't trade this in for anything. Even a new bike.

Back to work on Tuesday, then my dad is coming on Friday and I'll take another five days off.

Take care, gonna try to nap. Jonas has just been fed so I may have some time.

- David

Burrito

Burrito, originally uploaded by BodhiDave.

Lots of pics are up of Lil' Jonas & Family at the hospital.

We got home yesterday. Things are progressing. No sleep for anyone in this household but we're figuring things out. He's still adorable, no matter how much he keeps us up.

More to come as I catch up on things.

- David

Jonas! *EDIT*

- David

Now with 25% more epic-ness: